I found this quote through one of the apps I am on for coaching, Soar, and they also posted it on Instagram:
“There’s a difference between being the best in the world and being the best for the world.” - Clint Pulver
It keeps drawing me back and wanting to write something about it. As I write this, I’m not even quite sure what it is, but it’ll get there in the end. As a coach, I believe both statements are true, but in a wholly different light than what most people think. I want to be the best for the world so my clients can be their best in the world.
I want my clients to know they CAN be the best in the world. I also want them to know that what they can bring to be the best IN the world will ultimately also be the best FOR the world. I work with my clients to see that sobriety and recovery is the best option for a life well lived. That it is the beginning of their life, not the end of it. Not a life that they have lost. Not a love of a substance they can no longer have. Not the negativity that bears down on them keeping them below their capability of being a badass.
Those that are in recovery and have found sobriety are those that cannot drink or do their drug or habit of choice any longer. They can’t “moderate”. It doesn’t work. They need to find how to navigate self-love, relationships, work, passion, and their life adventure. They need their moxie, not moderation. Just taking that first step to realize that they are first, they are the priority, they need to become the best. The best for them. The best for the world. That, organically, makes them the best in the world.
“Best in the world” doesn’t mean being number one. Being best in the world means showing up every day and doing your best for the world. You take your passion and your purpose and you shout it out to the world. You own that like a badass. You use your moxie to take it to the next level. You use it to help others become the best in the world by being the best for the world.
Even if you don’t have issues with addiction, you MUST find your purpose. You MUST use it to be your best in the world. Don’t lose your chance to be that best in the world for yourself and others, and to be the best for the world. Make a difference. Step up and step out of your comfort zone. Use your moxie.
I know I talk a lot these days about passion and purpose. And moxie. But hey, moxie is how I roll… This does not mean you need to be all happy, glitter, and rainbows every day. I certainly am not. But those days that I am not, I use the things that bring me down, the mistakes I ultimately make, the words I ultimately don’t mean to say, and I turn them into learning experiences. Sometimes they hurt and I cringe and I second/third/fourth guess if I did something that was really wrong or if it’s all in my head. Most times, it’s just in my head blown out of proportion to the nth degree.
Because of those learning nuggets, I am adding to my purpose and my moxie to be the best in the world. To be best for the world because I have learned.
Like me and so many others before them in this stage of discovering that moxie, my clients learn by their past mistakes, traumas, and bad days. They falter and get back up again and again. But, you know what? They are showing up to life. Every.Day. They show up for themselves, they show up for me, they show up for everyone in their life. They show up to be the best in the world to be the best for the world so others can see their shining light. And yes, their moxie.
How about you. Are you the best in the world? Are you being the best for the world? If you are, you are a badass. A ROCK star! If not yet, what are you waiting for?
Did you ever have one of those days where everything just falls into place? I mean, it’s Monday, so somewhere in the back of your head you’re thinking…another Monday…what’s going to happen today.
I receive a message from “The Universe” (if you don’t get your messages every day, make sure you sign up NOW!), every day. The past several weeks, the messages have been really hitting home and have been hitting really deep. Today’s was no different. I posted it to my personal Facebook page and Instagram because I thought it was such a great message:
“A great trick to getting what you want, fast, Dana, though one requiring a deep level of understanding, is 'insistence.'
Not the kind, however, that expects 'life' to behave a certain way, but the kind that expects you to behave in a certain way.
I already knew my Monday was going to start off with a bang from the Universe. One of the biggest influencers of my running and recovery arena reached out to have a chat. Me. ME!!! We spent almost an hour and a half speaking of all things running, recovery, service to others, and big world dreams. It was an amazing ever-flowing conversation that I look forward to continuing.
Something must’ve been in the air from that conversation. A definite zing and MOXIE, because after that the heavens just kept pouring down the glitter. I had one of my favorite coworkers and friend call to catch up. After kibitzing all things work, life, Covid, and such, the conversation led into telling him about my 30,000 foot dream, and how I’m looking for data points and understanding in the corporate world, and voila, he knew a company right off the bat that is doing what I am looking to do.
Then! The Montgomery County Chamber of Commerce calls. I recently joined and they make calls to new members to get introduced and familiar with their business and to ensure the new members are aware of all of the events and programs that are available to us. During the most excellent conversation he began to list all of the events for the year, including an inaugural 5K in July. Guess who’s now on the committee!
But wait! There’s more! In my one on one meeting with my ever so favorite manager, and during an organic conversation about the things I’ve been doing with my coaching business, my recovery, and ideas, my big 30,000 foot dream came up. Because my company rocks and my manager rocks, we are working on a PPP – proposal, presentation, and pitch – to bring my 30,000 foot dream to life. Oh. My. God.
The incredible support, collaboration, and inspiration is nothing short of humbling and me being completely speechless. And, if you know me, that’s pretty darn hard to do.
I can see my dream. I can feel my dream. My insistence of authenticity and raw vulnerability to put my life and story, and my dream out there is being heard. The extremely hard work is on me. Every single second of it is worth it. If I can see this through fruition, the help I can provide to so many will be worth it. My purpose is real.
What is your insistence? What is your 30,000 foot dream that you want to see come true? Are you willing to put it out there? Are you willing to put in the work? Are you ready to be authentic and vulnerable? I am.
Coming up on a significant sober milestone, I’ve been thinking about how I tell folks I don’t drink anymore. The automatic statement is “I quit drinking”. Some of the responses to that have been “Great!”, “Good for You!”, and the quintessential “I’m no quitter!”
That last one does drive some spikes through the skin. Because in my mind, and many of those that have taken on the sobriety journey, it means everything. It means getting something completely negative out of your life, and hopefully for good. It means quitting a toxicity that could potentially kill you. It means quitting a horrible existence. To me, those are all POSITIVE reasons to be a quitter.
I am a proud quitter! I truly am. I have quit smoking. I have quit animal products, I have quit alcohol. But you know what all that did? It made me a CREATOR of my life. One piece at a time. One healing moment at a time.
Instead of quitting smoking, I created a whole new running career for myself. I’ve run over 65 marathons, several of them on multiple days. I’ve run 100 miles in one shot. I’ve had injuries that have taught me patience and awareness of my own body and physical wellness. I’ve met more people that have become part of my tribe and are amazingly good humans.
Instead of quitting animal products, I created a whole new way of eating. Along with that, I’ve been able to save many animals from being on my plate. I’ve saved my arteries from unneeded cholesterol and saturated fat. I have a new appreciation for the earth we inhabit and the sentient beings we share it with. I have healed my body with nutrients I would not otherwise have even given thought to. I have shared my knowledge of plant based eating along with environmental and ethical issues with those who have asked. I’ve met more people that have become part of my tribe and are amazingly good humans.
Instead of quitting alcohol, I created my whole new life’s adventure. I rediscovered my moxie. I have found my true authentic self and my purpose. I am overwhelmed by the pull I feel to help others who have struggled like me. I have saved myself from poisoning my body, mind, and soul any further, and God forbid, causing any harm to myself or others. I have found my clarity and focus for life’s passion once again. I am now giving back to others and helping them on their journey to find their life’s adventure. I’ve met more people that have become part of my tribe and are amazingly good humans.
Notice the theme… creation and my tribe. What are you quitting today to help you create something magnificent tomorrow?
overwhelm; 3rd person present: overwhelms; past tense: overwhelmed; past participle: overwhelmed; gerund or present participle: overwhelming
Or, in my case, burning the candle at five ends when it only has two. I know this may seem like complaining, but it truly isn’t. Hear me out, I promise!
I am 250% driven to make my coaching business a success. In doing so, many things must happen and fall into place to be successful.
There are days, like today, I feel like my head and my to-do list are going 110 mph. In every direction. I want to follow every direction, too! I’m so excited to be of such clear mind and full of passion and moxie to live this life I am dreaming for myself. I also know that it needs time, nurturing, mindfulness, small steps, small wins, and maybe a roller-skating adventure in the near future for good measure. Who’s with me?!
So, today, I sit back, I focus on my day job. Make sure I have everything in place to carry me through the meetings I need to attend, and that my projects are moving forward and are up to date.
I make plans for the coming days for everything else that’s on the list. They will be there tomorrow for me to noodle, work on, and move my dream closer to reality. Don’t let that fool you to think I’m procrastinating or pushing things off. There’s a difference in pushing things off (negative) vs making room for them in the coming days so that I have a clear mind and clear focus to really concentrate and put full effort into each item (positive).
Are you feeling overwhelmed these days? Do you have a plan? Are you making steps to make that dream a reality or are you pushing it off to “someday”. Stop pushing it off and make “someday” today.
I was trying to find something fun and kitschy to blog about on this Friday afternoon. I was scrolling back through my pictures to this time last year. I was going to post a picture of me on a cruise double-fisting it with two Coronas, but then came across this comic strip. I love the guy who created these characters and I adore how they “speak”.
It took me a moment to “get” what they were going on about. The “mild poison”. Then it hit me. They’re at the bar. Last year I found this absolutely hilarious. And, in some ways, I still do. It doesn’t offend me, and I’m sure there are a bunch of sober folks that will be offended that I’m not all that offended.
But, it brings to light just how mainstream alcohol is in our global society – and universe if you’re following these little guys. And, that they’re actually calling it “poison” – which it is. And, how much more mainstream it has become during this pandemic.
Women and men alike drinking their sorrows, their stress, their time they’d otherwise be spending with their families or friends out amongst other folks, intermingling, being active, and getting fresh air. They have been affected by keeping up with their full time jobs that now seem to have no start or end times, homeschooling (what is common core anyway?), being chefs creating meal after meal and hunted down for snacks that no-one can see sitting right in front of them. The dog and cat sitter, the doctor, and, everything else under the sun that the household needs. Women have turned to “wine time” which has moved from 6PM to 3:30 or 4PM. Men have turned to “beer me” just as early.
How do we turn this epidemic on its head? How do we help those that are silently struggling with their alcohol consumption? How do we help those that had habits that are now slowly turning to abuse?
Not everyone gets or is addicted. Not everyone has an issue. But, there’s more of us out there than there needs to be. The continued bombardment of commercials, shows, and new confounded beers, wines, and liquors keeps us coming back for more and keeps us from the ever so terrifying “FOMO”.
What are really missing out on anyway? The hangover? The blackouts? The stupid non-filtered words that end up coming out of our mouths? The bruises we wake up with that we have no clue where they came from? For those that are struggling, I implore you… you are missing out on much more being sober than using the bottle to drown out the slog of every day pandemic life.
I wouldn’t have rediscovered my moxie. I wouldn’t have decided I needed to get my certifications in recovery coaching and corporate facilitation. I wouldn’t have realized this absolute zest for life that I had been missing out on for the past 11 years.
So, while I adore these little aliens, I do not adore the drink they find ever allusive. Not anymore.
If you think you are struggling with a little too much drink, or know deep in your soul you really need to re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol, go for it. You may feel the FOMO for a little while, but once you find your moxie and yourself again, you’ll have no “FO” anymore.
I am more than fortunate with my position at my company. I get (well, at least I used to!) to travel quite frequently for my job. During one of my trips to Chicago three years ago this week actually, it was freezing with the wind whipping off the lake. Even though it was ridiculously cold that trip, we still walked almost everywhere and soaked in everything we could in the few days we were there.
Chicago amazes me and terrifies me. It’s beautiful, yet can look so ferocious with its extremely tall buildings and there’s just so.much.cement.
I took this picture on our way back from a spectacular hidden speak easy. The fog, mist, and multi colored lights coming from the buildings made Chicago beautiful. It made the city quiet if just for a moment.
I had many amazing moments on this trip. The Bean, Buddy Guy’s Blues club where I was actually in tears because the music was so welcoming to my ears and soul. I can’t wait to start traveling again.
If only for a moment… I fell in love with Chicago. I look forward to making my way to back once again to tug at my heartstrings.
What city, while beautiful and wonderful, do you feel a pull to go back to even though you're not in love with it?
I’m feeling a little down today. Maybe I’m doing too much. My mind is overwhelmed with all the things I want to accomplish. Not only in my up and coming coaching business, but in my professional career, and personal life. All of a sudden, I feel like time is going by waaaayyyyy too fast and I’m desperately trying to catch up for all I feel I have not accomplished in this precious life that I was given.
A feeling of frustration has been with me all weekend. It wasn’t just one thing. Many things culminated into that feeling, which, unintentionally projected onto others in my life. My husband said I was projecting a very negative energy on Saturday and I inadvertently offended a close friend in a text on Sunday that I immediately realized how it came off and apologized. This morning I woke up to a response on one of my posts that had me puzzled, and I paused before responding, and posted what I thought was a thoughtful response. They later deleted the thread.
I’m highly aware of how I’m feeling and do try to keep it within myself when I feel like this. I also know it is okay to feel like this. None of us can or should be happy all.the.time. We are human. We have emotions and feelings, good and bad, and those are what make us who we are. If we are aware, we can learn from the bad, and we can share the good.
Unfortunately, over the weekend, I unintentionally shared the bad. In that, I’ve learned to apologize and I also know better that I need to just retreat into my space for a while and re-balance myself. Re-balancing will have to wait until later today as it is, after all, Monday, and work doesn’t stop, fitness doesn’t stop, life doesn’t stop.
The good will be back tomorrow. This I know. The frustration and melancholy doesn’t last for long these days (thank goodness). Make sure to take care of yourself. Be aware of your own energy and what you’re putting into the universe. To those that get frustrated with others that seem to be otherwise “okay”, know that they just may not be aware of how they are projecting and a bit of kindness goes a long way. I’m thankful for those that were honest with me and gave me the bit of kindness I needed to step back and regroup.
It’d be great if life was just a giant fluffy bunny. But, that would get boring now, wouldn’t it. Sometimes a porcupine is needed in the mix to wake up your awareness.
Carry on my tribe!
Even as a vegan, I can struggle to get enough fresh veggies and fruits. I always come back from the store hopeful I will create wonderful, colorful dishes throughout the week from my purchase in the produce section. Yet, come Friday, the wilted, sad, uneaten veggies stare back at me from the fridge.
I know that if I don’t meal prep, I won’t eat healthy, and I see the money wasted in the resentful veggies that go uneaten.
If I have the veggies all cut up and ready to go, I know that throwing together a meal will take a quarter of the time and will be an easy peasy, colorful, nutritious meal.
How do you stay healthy during the week? Are you eating the rainbow? I can’t wait to create this week!
I don’t know about you, but it’s been a long week! A week of challenges, excitement, workouts, laughter, stress, and pure exhaustion. I was present for every single second of it and wouldn’t trade it in for the world.
I remember when I couldn’t wait for Friday to come because then I knew at least when I drank it was “acceptable”. It was my free ticket to blend in and to numb myself from all the feels that happened during the week. Only… I was numbing myself every day from all those feels. Friday, for all intents and purposes, was just another day of drinking for me. Another day of not wanting to really feel anything. Not wanting to be present. How sad and dismal is that. As I type that, the realization of what I had been doing to myself (and those that love me), all these years was a big sham. Pretending to be fun and engaged. Quick witted with snarky comments that I thought were hilarious (they were not).
Now, I truly am present. I have real fun and I engage with my full heart and intentions. The moxie is back and in full force. I may not be as quit witted, but I still do have some snarky remarks which I really do think are hilarious now (and probably still are not). All the feels are real, raw, authentic, and they are part of who I am and who I am becoming as we all evolve along our life path in some form or another, even if it’s just a wee bit each day. So now, when Friday comes along, and the Friday Feels are upon me, I welcome them in, I sit with them, and I can look back on the week and relish in the good, and learn from the challenges.
What are your Friday Feels today?
What crazy, unique hobby do you have that everyone around you thinks is absolutely nuts, terrifying, or absolutely fabulous? I’ve been told my doll collection (seen behind me is about two thirds of my collection), by many folks that it is nuts, terrifying, and absolutely fabulous.
What makes one collection so very different to different people? What draws people to them and what, quite literally, makes them run in horror? It’s the Kewpies that get most people. My little (and some big!) angelic cherubs with a hair dollop on top of their head and their innocent eyes either gazing right or left. To me, they are the sweetest, most innocent of my dolls, yet they are the ones that terrify so many. Others are fascinated by the sheer amount of dolls I have, and that alone, makes it fabulous, fun, and unique.
I believe we can equate this to people, too. Don’t you think? To one person, someone may look to be the sweetest, most innocent of humans. But to someone else, they may seem like the devil. How is it that we can be so different to others, yet feel the same and no different to ourselves? Do we project different personalities without even realizing it? Do some see our innocence from the outside, but others feel something more dark beneath? What about my actual “creepy” dolls like Sasha (the one with no eyes who sings Silent Night), or Chucky and his Bride? They seem menacing from the outside, but what lies beneath could be complete innocence. In this regard, people will fear others that look menacing or angry on the outside and won’t go near them, let alone interact with them. Yet, others can sense that their looks are not who they really are on the inside and will go near and will interact with them.
Addiction can be like this. The Sasha. The Chucky. We see the addict on the outside. We see their pain. We see the ugliness of what controls them. We see their sadness and want of a better life. We also tend not to go near them. We tend to not want to interact with them. They scare us. We think that they are bad or evil. We have to remember that they weren’t always like this. They were innocent kids, or teenagers, or even adults. Some life trauma event happened where they needed to numb their pain or grief. They thought that alcohol or other substances could help relax them so they didn’t have to think about it. Before they know it, they lose control of their use of alcohol or other substance. Their life may spin out of control which makes their use even worse. No-one wants to be here. No-one wants to be an addict.
Or addiction can be like this. The Kewpie. We see someone who is a high-functioning, intelligent, athletic person who has their shit together. Yet, they too, had a life trauma that started them spinning out of control with alcohol or some other substance. It may take longer for them to feel out of control because they haven’t lost their job or family. They haven’t gotten a DUI or been thrown in jail. Yet, they find themselves drinking every day. They all of a sudden find themselves drinking more and more. Possibly having blackouts. Not remembering things they do, things they’ve said, how they got home. They may be the lucky ones who can figure it out on their own and get help.
Either way, it's a ridiculously hard road back to pre-addict. People need help to guide them back. They need joyful connections from their friends and family and people willing to look beyond the outer shell. If you know anyone in active addiction, make sure to look beyond the shell. Look beyond the desperation and anguish - or what you think may be a perfect life - and know there is a pre-addict in there waiting to come back. Be a joyful connection for them. If you cannot, find someone who can. xoxo